Headteacher Diaries - One Week

“A leader takes people where they want to go. A great leader takes people where they don’t necessarily want to go, but ought to be.”

Rosalynn Carter

Exactly one week ago, I became Headteacher of the school I had seen grow, from its absolute infancy to potentially two sites, as Deputy Head.

Before I continue, I have to preface this post with a complete and unequivocal doff of the cap and immense thanks - would it were enough - to Founder and now Executive Headteacher of Kimichi Schools, Sally Alexander MBE. Few know the real journey, pain and sacrifice endured for the sake of the school over which I am now Head. It's especially hard in this new world where people are ideologically charged against independent schools with the VAT raid, National Insurance rise and loss of business rates relief to 'level' a playing field that was always tipped against us. I've seen it: I've cried and laughed, succeeded and failed under the guidance and love of Sally. The moment I became Headteacher was humbling and daunting because if the normal responsibility of Headship wasn't enough, I am also here charged with protecting a legacy.

Jean Luc Picard in 'the chair'

As I diarise my journey through Headship, it is Sally for whom I am most grateful and to whom this entire journey is dedicated.

I can't promise lessons to be learnt, takeaway nuggets of profundity or even a day-in-the-life, but what I will chart is my honest thoughts and feelings about being 'in the chair' as exceptional Headteacher and author Sam Strickland calls it, after a gruelling seven-hour interview saw me being given the cushions and blanket of 'the chair.

Time to get on the bike

I thought, quite genuinely, that a Deputy Headship of eight years would prepare me for week one. Why wouldn't it? After all, I'd seen the internal mechanisms of how the school was run; had cleaned the muck, picked up that which should never be picked up, gave brilliant announcements and broke tragic news to ears too young to hear it. Not to put too fine a point on it, mine and Adam's book 'Succeeding as a Deputy Head' is published by Bloomsbury in January (15th, 2026, to be precise) and so why would I not know what it took to be a Head?

Sally had shielded me from hardly anything in the running of the school. Of course, there will be parts and moments (nexus points for you Marvel fans) that I won't have known about but she was (is) genuinely open about the challenges we were (are!) facing because I genuinely had a role to play in smoothing a process or creating a system that was going to make life easier.

However, sat in 'the chair' last week genuinely took my breath away. It was as if something in the universe aligned and became aware of my new role; as though something sleeping had become sentient and conscious all at once. I was filled with a confidence and finality I had never felt before. Every single member of staff looked at me differently with kind eyes and supportive words because if there were a second where I thought I couldn't do it, they would be there to tell me otherwise.

This week wasn't just a cute, first date introduction to the bike, it was a full-on wedding without the stabilisers and no canapés.

Imposter Syndrome - does it help?

Imposter Syndrome

I've long heard of this expression and, for much longer, have felt what I thought were it's silvery and emaciated fingers sliding around my neck. This feeling, or Imposterism, is prevalent amongst high-performing individuals with something in the order of ~75% experiencing it during their career (Salari et al., 2025). Despite this apparent pervasiveness, imposter syndrome is rarely linked to anything positive with the phenomenon being linked (at least in health care professions) to depression and anxiety (He et al., 2024).

With that in mind, I'm reflecting on my first week and wondering if I felt this at all? Despite the fashionable answer, I'm not sure I did. It's not that I didn't feel out of place, in the wrong body, suddenly alone or even as if I were in a dream because I felt all of those things. But I didn't feel like an imposter.

noun. /ɪmˈpɑstər/

a person who pretends to be someone else in order to trick people. Oxford English Dictionary

I'm an English teacher so you'll have to forgive the obession with etymology but I have to be honest - I work too hard to be pretending to be someone else. That's not to say that being Headteacher isn't a role to perform in front of a crowd, because it absolutely is and it's one I have relished these past five days. But I'm not pretending.

Cormacolindo

Galadriel, a Cormacolindo, or Ring-Bearer

One for the Tolkien fans: my favourite chapter of The Lord of the Rings is The Mirror of Galadriel. For the uninitiated, Galadriel points to the sky and asks the earnest Samwise what he sees. Noticing nothing of import, she turns to Frodo who immediately sees the is wearing Nenya, the Ring of Adamant. He understands in that moment that Sam could not see the ring she bore and so could never understand his feelings on this perilous journey. I have uniquely felt like this these past few days.

For years I have been Samwise Gamgee, walking alongside my own Frodo (sorry, Sally but the metaphor works, and you're not that short) and giving freely of my self to the mission, the cause and the role of the school in the lives of our young people. I thought I knew what it would take were it ever the moment to assume the Headship - of course I did: I've co-written a book about it!

However, the actual passing of the role, of the ring, to me was profound in ways I hadn't expected. My bandwidth suddenly grew: I knew what had to be done and how to do it with the people in place to achieve it and I got home every night and slept like a baby. Not because there was nothing to keep me awake - plenty of that - but the sheer mental exhaustion from working with such bandwidth was overwhelming. I'm not Frodo and don't think I ever will be. But I am now cormacolindo - a ring-bearer - and at once understand the weight and responsibility of my new role, supported by Sally as Executive Head (because she's not going anywhere and quite right too!), and am more than aware of my own limitations which may yet prove fatal to the mission.

Buoyed by my amazing team, wife, family, friends - and Sally - I enter my second week already looking forward to the challenges ahead shaped through my experience and vision for the school as we fight ideological battles as they get ever-closer to our Shire. Let's hope I'm not yet scheduled for a voyage to Valinor.

Being a ring-bearer means carrying responsibility with courage, supported by those who have carried it before you.

A final thought

At age 19, I had a terrible car accident on the M5. Despite the car being a wreck, we walked away from the crushed metal with hardly a scratch. A week later, my Dad took me back on the motorway and, as I cruised down the sliproad at no more than 58mph, he leaned in and said 'you have as much right as anyone to be here.' I nodded and gently pressed the accelerator.

If you're a ring-bearer, like me, and are also entering the motorway of Headship, I hope you too feel similarly inspired to press a little harder on the pedal.

Carnilossë ná elenath

Even small sparks of courage shine brightly in darkness

JRR Tolkien

References

He M., Li Y., Hu H., Yu Z., Cai C., Cheng Y., Ma L., Liu S. (2024). The relationship between impostor phenomenon and career decision-making difficulties among nursing interns: the mediating role of psychological resilience. Front Psychol. 2024 Nov 27;15:1484708. doi: 10.3389/fpsyg.2024.1484708. PMID: 39664643; PMCID: PMC11632309.

Salari, N., Hashemian, S.H., Hosseinian-Far, A. et al. (2025). Global prevalence of imposter syndrome in health service providers: a systematic review and meta-analysis. BMC Psychol 13, 571 (2025). https://doi.org/10.1186/s40359-025-02898-4